These posts are collections of my real life experiences and learnings all created to help you navigate the challenges, and rewards, of special needs parenting. Contact me if you want to know more!

The Power of the Pause

Last month, I binge watched all 3 Equalizer Movies.In a nutshell, the movies center around a character played by Denzel Washington using his skills as a former intelligence agent to exact justice on behalf of innocent people.My favorite part of these movies happens...

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This week 2 lawyers, a teacher and a medical doctor asked me the same question: Am I being a Drama Queen?Their circumstances were wildly different, but the fear was the same: Other people might think they were being DQs for doing for their children the same things...

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Throw out the Autism Books. 📚

You’ll probably never read them anyway.It’s okay. The truth is, you didn’t buy those books for information. You bought them for the same reason I spent 💰 attending continuing education courses for BCBAs. You want to feel some relief from the fear of “I don't know...

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“You are ruining my life!”

Have you ever had this thought (or some version of it) about your child with Autism?Be honest. Thoughts centered around the belief that if your child was different, then your life would be better. If they: Talked Slept Didn’t meltdown down in public Behaved...

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Quit it, Miss Fix It

Two months into the COVID shutdown, my son was fighting to read sight words.  Not because he was incapable of reading, but because his OCD had tuned a once enjoyable activity into hell on earth. As he read, he was insisting on looking up EVERY word and then...

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The Autism Genie

I recently coached a client who was being schooled by her teenage son.    She had a boundary that he was telling her how to enforce.   The boundary was simple: homework before video games. 📚 🎮   As teenagers do, each day after school, her son morphed...

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Protecting the Asset

In the last week, I have coached my clients through some heavy topics: 911 calls ER visits School reprimands Neighbor complaints Expulsions Elopements While the coaching for each client was different, the thread that ran through every call was this: Protect the...

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Good Grief, It’s October

It’s Fall, Y’all and the means pumpkin patches, fall festivals and, of course, trick or treating. Sounds like a blast, right?  It sure does to me, and maybe you, too. But for your child with Autism -- that might be another story.  I remember how excited I...

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Invisible Loss

The loss we experience as Autism Moms is an Invisible Loss.Unseen and often unrecognized by others, but deeply felt by each one of us. I was reminded of this during a recent call with my son’s extended care team, when his clinician referred to me as a “grieving...

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I Signed Up For This!

This week I had a consult with a woman who is adopting a 16 year old young man with Autism.  She is not related to him.She does not have to adopt him.She is not being forced.   She is choosing this life. She is choosing to become an Autism Mom.She is...

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“I did not sign up for this!”

Every Autism Mom has had some version of the thought, “I did not sign up for this!” This is what I told my client, Nicole, as she cried.   “I did not sign up for this” is the verbalization of the denial and anger we sometimes feel about the difference between the...

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Measured by their Deficits

Children with autism are routinely measured by their deficits. I was reminded of this last week during a conversation with Kate Swenson, the founder of Finding Cooper’s Voice, an online community for Autism parents, and the author of Forever Boy, a memoir about...

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Lisa Candera

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