Two months into the COVID shutdown, my son was fighting to read sight words. Not because he was incapable of reading, but because his OCD had tuned a once enjoyable activity into hell on earth.
As he read, he was insisting on looking up EVERY word and then looping on the multiple definitions of each word and how or whether the various definitions made sense in the context of the sentence he was trying to read.
After two weeks of this (and nothing else, COVID shutdown), I was ready to set the book and myself on fire.
I had tried EVERYTHING:
- Sitting beside him while he read
- Looking up definitions
- Assuring him that AND and ALSO can sometimes be used interchangeably
As I recounted all of my efforts to my son’s therapist, he did not mince words with me:
“You are doing too much. If you want to help Ben you need to do less.”
WTAF?!
“How is me doing LESS the solution?,” I asked. “My job is to fix it . . .”
And as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew he was right.
My son has severe Autism and OCD, and I was believing I could “fix” his preoccupation du jour by catering to it.
And it was backfiring on me, BIG TIME because all of the years of swopping in had given my son the message that I can and should be able to solve for all of his problems.
So, on top of being frustrated by his looping thoughts, he was pissed at me for not making it go away.
Quit It, Miss FIx It
While wanting to wave a magic wand a make our kids’ struggles go away is nature, it is not realistic, especially for our kids with ASD and its assortment of co-morbid diagnoses.
That is why it is CRITICAL for you to UNSUBSCRIBE to the mistaken belief that you can or should be able to “fix” whatever ails your child.
The truth is: You can’t. And, NO ONE has the magic recipe for solving other people’s neurological, mental and emotional struggles. Believe me, I’ve looked!
What to do?
STOP focusing on what you CAN’T change, and focus on what you CAN.
And what you can control is ALWAY you – how you are thinking, feeling and responding to whatever challenges you and your child are facing.
If this is something you are struggling with, I can help you now.
Stop waiting, stop staying in pain, and get yourself the support you need NOW.
You can get started by scheduling a consultation with me for my 1:1 program here. I’ve helped myself and moms like you with these EXACT struggles, and I can help you, too.