My blood boils every time I see itthe IEP trap.
It usually appears as a proud post from an autism parent:
“My child is doing so well that the school reduced their IEP support!”
Sounds like progress, right? Wrong.
The reality is: a childs progress is not a reason to remove supportsits proof that they are working.
I learned this the hard way.
My son, Ben, had just turned 13 when he was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric hospital for children with autism. I was in shock.
“But he was doing so well!” I told the Medical Director. “He was advocating for himself, skiing, competing in academic competitions. The school even said he didnt need his 1:1 aide anymore!”
His response hit me like a punch:
“That’s a big mistake. It happens all the time with ‘high-functioning’ kids. Schools see progress and pull the plug, instead of maintaining what works.”
I had fallen into the IEP trapbelieving that because my son was doing better, he needed fewer supports.
Soon after, everything unraveled.
His anxiety skyrocketed. His once-controlled behaviors resurfaced. And when you add in the stress of middle school, puberty, and the COVID shutdownit was a recipe for disaster.
This is why you cannot let schools reduce IEP supports without solid proof.
Why Schools Push to Remove IEP Supports
On the surface, schools make it sound reasonable:
- We want to promote independence.
- They dont need as much help anymore.
- Itll be better for them socially.
And as parents, we want to believe it.
But heres what you dont always hear:
1. Schools Are Under Pressure to Cut Costs
The cost of educating a student with special needs is significantly more (perhaps up to t 3 times as more) times that of a general education student. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act(IDEA) authorized the federal government to cover up to 40% of the average per-pupil expenditure for special education. However, this commitment has never come close to being fully met, with current funding levels at less than 13%.
This persistent underfunding places significant financial strain on state and local education agencies, compelling them to allocate limited resources as efficiently as possible.
Consequently, when a student demonstrates progress, schools might be inclined to reduce supports not because its best for the child, but because they have to stretch resources.
2. Special Education Teacher Shortages Are at Crisis Levels
Special education has historically faced staffing challenges, which have been exacerbated in recent years. In the 202324 school year, over half of school districts and 80% of states reported shortages of special education teachers. Additionally, federal data indicate that 21% of public schools were not fully staffed in special education at the start of the 202324 school year, a higher level of reported shortages than any other teaching specialty.
These shortages can lead to increased workloads for existing staff, larger class sizes, and diminished individualized attention for students with disabilities.
These conditions may prompt schools to reduce support services for students who appear to be making progress, even when continued assistance is necessary.
3.Schools May be Misinterpreting Progress
With autism, things are rarely what they seem on the surface when my son was doing well, he was falling apart inside.
He was maskingworking so hard to hide his struggles and keep up.
- He nodded along at lunch even when he didnt get the jokes.
- He pretended to be ok when he wasn’t
- He held in his stress all day and melted down the second he got home.
It wasnt real progress. It was survival.
And when his supports were pulled? That survival system collapsed.
He was no longer able to mask it or fake it till you make it — he was burned out.
What Happens When Supports Are Removed Too Soon
1. Regression Happens Fast
Skills that seemed solid can unravel quickly.
- A child who was making friends starts avoiding social interactions altogether.
- A student who was staying regulated in class begins having meltdowns again.
- The child begins refusing to go to school
2. Emotional and Behavioral Struggles Return
Without support, anxiety and frustration skyrocket.
- My son, who had been self-advocating, stopped speaking up for himself.
- He started having daily meltdowns at home.
- His social confidence plummeted.
3. Its Harder to Get Services Back
Once a support is removed from an IEP, getting it reinstated is an uphill battle.
- Schools require new evaluations to prove the need.
- Parents may need to hire advocates or attorneys to fight for services.
- The process can take months or even years, leaving the child struggling in the meantime.
4. It Damages Your Childs Self-Esteem
Ive seen this first hand in my son and several of my clients children.
- When a child suddenly finds social situations or schoolwork too difficult, they can start feeling like a failure. Their self-esteem takes a nose-dive and their mental health suffers.
- For some, school goes from being a place where they succeed to a minefield of failures.
- This self-doubt seeps into every area of their life and can cause depression and other mental health struggles.
5. It Can Lead to Autism Burnout
Autism burnout isnt just being tiredits a total system shutdown.
It can look like:
- Losing skills they once mastered.
- Meltdowns returning with intensity.
- Avoiding social situations and isolating.
- Physical symptomsstomach aches, headaches, sleep problems.
How to Avoid the IEP Trap
You play a crucial role in ensuring your child continues to receive the special education services they need. Here are some practical steps you can take to safeguard your childs access to essential supports:
1. Demand Data
When the school suggests scaling back or modifying a service, your first step should be to insist on data-driven decisions.
- Insist on Objective Evidence: Ask for concrete evidencesuch as test scores, progress monitoring records, and formal evaluationsthat demonstrates your child can consistently succeed without the extra support.
- Question Subjective Claims: Its vital to challenge any decision based solely on anecdotal observations or a single positive outcome. A single good semester does not guarantee long-term independence.
- Request Clear, Measurable Metrics: Ensure the school provides quantifiable data that confirms your childs readiness for a change. This data should show sustained progress over time and across different learning environments.
2. Take Your Own Data
In addition to the data provided by the school, consider tracking your childs progress yourself.
- Create a Record: Take data on your child’s behaviors after school and on the weekends. The school will not have this data, so it is important that you have it and can present it in an effective manner.
- Maintain a Record: Keep a personal log of your childs work, teacher communications, and any evaluations you receive.
- Compare Observations: Use your data to compare with the schools findings. If you notice discrepancies, this can serve as a powerful tool in advocating for continued support.
3. Put Your Objections in Writing
It is essential to formally document any disagreements or concerns regarding changes to your childs supports.
- Document Communication: Send detailed emails or letters to the special education director, and include a written statement during IEP meetings.
- Create an Official Record: This written record ensures that your concerns are clearly noted and can be referenced later if needed.
- Prevent Miscommunication: Written objections make it more difficult for the school to claim that you agreed to changes without fully understanding their implications.
4. Request a Trial Period, Not a Cliff
Rather than permanently reducing services, negotiate for a trial period during which support levels are gradually modified while still keeping essential accommodations intact.
- Set Clear Benchmarks: Ensure that the trial period comes with specific, measurable goals that will indicate whether your child is truly ready for reduced support.
- Guarantee Reinstatement: Make sure there is an agreement that supports will be immediately reinstated if your child shows any signs of regression.
- Monitor Closely: During the trial, stay actively involved by reviewing progress data and observing any changes in your childs behavior or academic performance.
5. Consult an Advocate or Attorney
If you feel overwhelmed or notice that the school is not adequately addressing your concerns, seeking external support can be extremely beneficial.
- Professional Guidance: A special education advocate or attorney can help you navigate the complex IEP process.
- Protect Your Childs Rights: These experts can ensure that your childs rights are upheld and that the school adheres to legal requirements.
- Enhance Your Voice: Having professional support can reinforce your position and help resolve conflicts more effectively.
As an ER child psychiatrist once told me, Schools tend to sit up straighter in IEP meetings when you have an advocate or attorney.
Most Importantly: Trust Yourself You Are the Expert on Your Child
When it comes to advocating for your child, the most important thing you can do is trust yourself.
No matter how many degrees, certifications, or years of experience the people sitting around the IEP table have, they do not know your child the way you do.
They see data points. You see the full picture:
- The meltdowns behind closed doors.
- The exhaustion from masking all day.
- The silent struggles they push through every single day just to keep up.
Its easy to second-guess yourself when a team of professionals tells you your child is ready for fewer supports.
But if your gut is screaming that something isnt rightlisten to it.
Schools base decisions on what they see within their walls, but their perspective is limited.
They dont see your child:
- Falling apart the second they walk in the door.
- Flooded with anxiety on school mornings.
- Calling you crying from the school bathroom.
But you do.
Ive been that mom, sitting in the meeting, nodding along, thinking:
Maybe theyre right. Maybe we dont need this anymore. Maybe this is a good thing.
I wanted to believe it. I wanted to take that victory lap. And I did.
And then I watched it all fall apart.
Im not blaming myself (anymore), because I wasnt wrong in the momentI just didnt have the benefit of all I know now.
Which is why Im telling you: Before you agree to reduce supports, insist on solid data and put a safety net in place.
Conclusion: Protect Whats Working
Your childs progress is not a reason to pull supportsits a sign that the right systems are in place.
If the school suggests scaling back, dont just take their word for it:
Demand long-term data.
Track your own records.
Insist on a fail-safe plan.
And most importantlytrust yourself. No one knows your child better than you.
Have a great week!
XOXO,
Lisa
P.S. Struggling to Trust Yourself When It Comes to Your Childs IEP?
If youre struggling to advocate for your childs needsor even just to trust yourself in the processI can help.
In a free consultation, well talk about whats happening with your child, whats working, whats not, and how coaching can help you:
Stop second-guessing yourself
Step into your role as the expert on your child
Advocate with confidence and without apologizing
You can solve this problem QUICKLY. And once you do, your child will benefit from your confidence forever.
Lets talk.
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