| My client, Amy, has a near phobia of taking her 10-year-old son with Autism and other disabilities out in public because of her fear of being judged by other people. Sheimaginesall eyes being fixed on them as he stims and repeats words. Sheimaginesother people are judging her child and her parenting. Sheimagineshow she will respond to the unlucky person who makes a snide comment. All of Amy’simaginingcreated real fear for her, and this fear led her to confine herself and her son to their home. When Amy brought this topic to our coaching session, I gotstraight to the point: Other people aren’t the problem, you are. That is, the only reason Amy was afraid of other people judging her son is because she was judging him. She believedhewas “a lot”. She believed his stimming wasdistracting. She believed his wordrepetition was annoying. And all of these beliefs were keeping her and her son locked away from the community. Here is a glimpse of our coaching session: Me: Do you believe your son has a right to be in the community? Amy: Absolutely! He is a wonderful child. He loves going to new places. It makes him so happy. Me: Then how do you want to show up as the mother of achild who stims and repeats words? Amy decided that instead of focusing on her son’s behaviors, she wanted to focus on his right to be there andhis joy. And that isexactly what she did the next day when she took her son to alocal coffee shop. Shenoticed her defaultthought “he is a lot” come up, and redirected herself to “he belongs here.” Shenoticed other people looking over at them, and she reminded herself, “we belong here.” She watched as her son ate/wore his cake pop and smiled at how happy he was. Just like that, for the first time in over 2years, Amy was able to enjoy time with her son at their new favorite coffee shop and let go of her fear of being judged by other people. Have a great week, and enjoy your child! Lisa P.S. To get “The 7 Truths Every Autism Mom Needs to Know,” click here. P.P.S.If you are hiding out or playing small because you fear other people will judge you and/or you child with Autism,I can can help you with that. Book a complimentary consultation call hereso we can talk about helping you feel better and whetherit makes sense to work together. |
