After my son came back from hospitalization, I barely recognized him. He used every tool in his toolbox to get out of going to school. At the end of my rope, I called my childhood friend who was also a psychologist and worked with children with autism. She explained that he was using his behaviors to control his environment to get what he thought he needed, and I was his environment.

The solution was to be the solid object, steady in the storm, calm while he escalated. This work can’t happen during the conflict because our primitive lizard-brain will be in control. We have to begin the work before the trigger goes off, when the logical prefrontal cortex is online and we have access to our highest level of reasoning and problem solving.

After that, we work to stay present in the moment with yourself and your child. Actively accept what is happening, drop our agendas, and handle with care. Afterward, we ask what worked and what didn’t, and find compassion for ourselves.

If you would like to talk about where you are, where you want to be, and how we can work together to get there, Contact Us.

Music credit: Bouncin’ Back by Reaktor Productions

A (Podcast Launch Bestie) production