Welcome to Be the Solid Object. I am your host Lisa Candera. I am a single mother of a teen with autism, life coach and a lawyer, and I am on a mission to teach mothers that you have more power than you think.

Autism is not in charge of your life, you are, and I want to show you how. But before we get to the how, I want to tell you why this is important.

You are your child’s greatest resource. No XYX is more important than you. You are in this for the long haul. You see that this world was not made for our kids and you want to change that. And you will.

As long as you don’t burn out along the way.

Because, guess what, this is not a marathon.

Marathons have maps. One route that everyone takes. First aid stations. Water stations.

There are no maps, we create them. There is no one size fits all route. The route that works for my child, won’t for yours. The route that works for my child this week, may not work next week. There are no breaks or refueling stations. We create our own.

This is not a marathon.

It does not end when they become adults and fall off of the services cliff.

This is because the world has not yet made room for our kids.

So we are going to do it.

Each and every one of us.

And to do this, we need to take care of ourselves. We need to step into our own power.


Before I found life coaching, I thought I was plenty powerful. I am not shy, I spoke up at IEP meetings, I advocated like a mother. But while I was fighting for my son, I was also fighting myself.

I spent most of my time feeling guilty for his struggles and I blamed myself for not doing enough.

In my mind, if I was truly doing everything I could, he would not be struggling as much or in the ways he was struggling.

I’m here to tell you that I was wrong and so are you.

Our kids struggle and that is the reality.

Trying to control autism, blaming ourselves and neglecting our own mental, emotional and physical well being is not helping us.

Just the opposite: it erodes our self confidence and undermines our ability to make decisions.

It leaves us feeling exhausted, defeated, and burnt out.

We are kicking our own asses and it needs to stop.

Enter: the SO.

In this podcast I will teach you what it means to be the solid object and why it’s essential to navigating the challenges of special needs parenting. And, great news, the benefits of BTSO extend far beyond managing everyday tantrums and meltdowns.

The ability to accept reality, manage our minds and emotionally regulate ourselves enables us to show up as the powerful women we are in all areas of our lives.

It enables us to march forward, be the change, and create the world we want for ourselves and our kids.

During Season 1 of BTSO, I am going to share with you my Before/During /After process for keeping your cool while your child is melting down. In each episode, I will share tools, strategies or exercises that you can incorporate into your life NOW for managing your mind, regulating your emotions and soothing yourself.

At the end of each episode, I will invite you to do three things:

Join me in my mission of showing other mothers raising kids with autism that they have more power than they think my sharing this podcast with them, rating and reviewing it, Follow me on Insta, or Schedule a consultation.

Finally, I created this podcast with busy moms in mind so the episodes are short and sweet and jam packed with valuable information.

You can listen to them over the week or binge them Netflix style.

So, Decide on purpose that investing time in your own well being is a priority, pop in your ear buds, and take your first steps towards BTSO.

Let’s get started.